Get me a bag of apples

Right, I shall listen to this fresh batch of stuff and endeavour to dispense my opinion as if it was small gems from an old gem mine somewhere quite a long way a way.

Yes, this is very good work indeed. Not as good as my moustache, but a nice try nonetheless. Incidentally, my moustache is not, and has never previously, been involved in covert operations in any part of Latin America. Therefore, my moustache would like to take this opportunity to disassociate itself with the recent comments made by American televangelist Pat Robertson. Thanks. http://media.guardian.co.uk/broadcast/story/0,,1555281,00.html

Ah, yet another Republican trying to distance himself from Robertsons remarks I see. Look Fibre, I don't know who you are trying to kid here, but it is plain to see that your moustache had everything to do with Robertsons comments and nothing to do with being attached to your face. I have it on good authority from a Venezuelan Frenchman that your moustache was seen in Caracas sipping martinis only last week.

Avoiding mustaches at the moment, I must say I am excited about listening to the entire Kia Blog back catalogue next week when I get a new PC at last! Hurrah. And it was a pleasure to see you boys at that Summer Icecream whatever festival the other week (I heard patti smith was dire by the way, although I left before hand). Shock! A Kiaj gig as well. Count me in. And see you at Firefly the week before for the LoEgo gig?

At last someone else who didn't thing Patti Smith was all that cop. She was good and all but she didn't seem to have anything to say. Maybe it was the wine eh? I blame Jude.

Part Five is on my list of Ten Most Overlooked Kiajaroovah Jam-Based Recordings Of All Time, Ever. Channel Four are making a programme about it. On this programme I will sit around, and give my witty, insightful opinion about how I came to hear it, what makes it so great, plus great anecdotes about the band - The Time They Played in the Charlotte! The Time They Played in the Attik! The Time I Thought I Was Listening to A Wasp In The Eye, But Was Listening to Get Me Bag of Apples Part Five, and the Hilarity That Ensued. Channel Four will show this programme every two days for a year, and I will get my own breakfast show on 6 Music, but then develop a cocaine addiction and be photgraphed snorting a line from the cover of "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" in my pajamas whilst receiving a massage from a girl wearing two wigs.

A bit late, I realise, but have had a real breakthrough with Part Two. I've always felt that Part Two and myself weren't really connected, that maybe there was some underlying suspicion, or suppressed jealousy, or something, you know? Kind of missed opportunities and stuff? Like we were on, kind of, two different planes almost? You know? Tonight we really bonded. I mean, really.